Blog

I have children with two mildly borderline women and I would ask all dads out there, divorced or at home, to spend as much quality time with your kids as possible. Make them feel safe and secure and love them as much as you can. I also think it would help the next generation avoid the abandonment issues that the last 2-3 generations have experienced. Again, great website, your material is upfront and right on.

Riding the Rollercoaster: Understanding Erratic Behavior and How to Cope

You’re looking for something to blame when you can only blame yourself. And that’s not a bad thing, it just means taking responsibility for being in the relationship and then moving forward. It’s like if I were to ask you ‘who is responsible for keeping you in the relationship? Her behavior is completely out of your control.

How to support your partner with BPD

We pay our respects to the Old People, Elders and Leaders past and present and extend our recognition to their descendants who are present. We recognise, highlight and celebrate the unique position of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples in Australia’s history, cultures and future. Thank you so much for your support and advice – it has been incredibly helpful and insightful. This sounds rocky, but believe me, pwBPD can be the most caring and compassionate people. You can gain a lot being with someone with BPD – as long as you have the skills to do so. Boundaries and open communication are the two main essentials when dealing with pwBPD.

She really got after me to break off the appointment and stay with her instead. After numerous refusals from me, she apologized and said she was “being a brat” because she wasn’t used to guys telling her no. You could waste your life dealing with some defective individuals BS or take the advice of almost every “non”.

Tips for Communicating Effectively with Someone Who Has BPD

It’s not about this Disney love that you and most people are looking for. Whether a girl is BPD or not, it doesn’t matter. They both behave very well around me because they know that I won’t tolerate bad behavior.

Relationships are about commitment – instead of looking for that interest in your partner, look for signs of commitment. It all starts at these deep-rooted beliefs and fantasies we developed over a long-period of time starting from our childhood. Things just happen and before we know it, we’re caught up too deep to pull ourselves out.

Unlike traditional talk therapy, which is more about processing feelings, Gilbert explains that DBT is a mix of cognitive behavioral therapy and mindfulness. Childhood trauma, such as sexual or physical abuse and neglect from parents, can also put individuals at an increased risk of developing borderline personality disorder. Furthermore, there may be a neurological factor involved in borderline personality disorder, as sufferers lack the ability to regulate their emotions, a task performed by parts of the brain. While the origin of borderline personality disorder is not fully known or understood, experts speculate it arises from a combination of genetic, environmental, and cognitive factors. There’s no gene linked to borderline personality disorder, but close family members have an increased risk of developing borderline personality disorder. While this is not true for all BPD patients, many are struggling with the consequences of an abusive and traumatic upbringing.

Poor emotional control

And the fact that you are making your relationship work PROVES the point of this whole article, lol. So thank you for proving that what I talk about here works. I carry guilt around constantly, feeling like he would be much happier with a ‘normal’ girl. Hell yeah, cant control someone, cant change her, but when you’ve invested 7 years and the hand of your partner slips away when you fall, it s harsh, snif snif lol.

It’s not unusual if they don’t feel they’re lying at all, which can lead to unstable relationships. I mentioned to her I don’t feel myself to be a strong emotional support person for her, as I often feel weighed down by emotions myself… This of course makes me feel pretty useless, so I tend to overthink what she may be experiencing and what caused/triggered it. I https://hookupsranked.com/ know that when she has days like this, that she likes to sleep and zone out listening to music. Recently she’s also started going to the gym and having PT sessions 3 times a week -which has helped enourmously with the depression. The cause of BPD is not clearly known, but often there has been neglect, abandonment, or abuse in childhood and possibly genetic factors.

Learn more about the complex blend of factors that cause BPD. You may also want to consider expressing your needs to be listened to and encouraging your partner to double-check before assuming how you feel. There are some ways you can strengthen your partnership by working together on a few strategies. Research has found that those who live with BPD may use social media more than those who don’t, perhaps for validation and reassurance. Knowing this ahead of time can help the two of you prepare for the future.

Although the reasons don’t excuse the behavior, understanding the causes can help you cope when your friend or family member with BPD lies. In turn, it may help you move the person toward appropriate therapy. Pathological lying involves lying for no real reason or benefit and can be present in some personality disorders.